Bad Parenting, Tang Dynasty Cyberpunk Edition

Found myself discussing with yuerstruly which of the pairings in To Embers We Return was most likely to want kids/be good at kids, which led to the following conclusions:

• Shen Ni/Bian Jin: Bian Jin would probably be an excellent parent in an eldest sister way, but she would not seek out parenthood, unless Shen Ni wanted it. Shen Ni would decidedly NOT want to be a parent, and if she somehow had parenthood thrust upon her, she might theoretically be quite competent at it if she tried, but she would not try.
  
• Diwu Que/He Lanzhuo: Diwu Que MIGHT be enthusiastic about parenting, but would be deeply inept at it. He Lanzhuo would go along with it and discharge her parental duties competently, but mainly because of Diwu Que's enthusiasm, not because of particularly strong feelings for the child or desire to be a parent herself.
  
• Li Ji/Zeng Qingluo: Li Ji would try HARD at parenting but would mess up badly, due in part to trying too hard. Zeng Qingluo would just be Anxious the whole time.
  
• Li Si/Dou Xuanji: Not to stereotype, but I could kind of see Li Si being a Dad (I'm not sure whether she would particularly want to, but there are plot-relevant in-world reasons for why she might become one). I have serious trouble envisioning Dou Xuanji as a Mum. So maybe Li Si could be the Fun Dad with Dou Xuanji being the Grumpy Dad.

It also occurred to me that it would be highly entertaining to see Shen Ni having to look after a small child for a day. This led to my generating the English-language world's first piece of Embers fic:

Shen Ni, to child: This is a rocket launcher. Can you say 'rocket launcher'?
Child: warbles something semi-coherent, in the way of children
Shen Ni: Good. Now take it and go play by yourself. Jiejie is busy.
Bian Jin: is horrified
Shen Ni: It's FINE. I put the safety on, and I even improvised a child lock. Didn't have time to test it of course, but there's no reason it shouldn't work.